Friday, March 27, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Q: Wouldn't you say the Red Sox not getting A-Rod in 2003 was BY FAR the best non-trade of all time?-- Adam, Toronto
SG: There's a bigger one: After Seattle picked Robert Swift in the 2004 draft, the Celtics offered the Sonics the 13th pick (basically, the rights to Al Jefferson) and their 2005 No. 1 pick for Swift's rights … and Seattle said no. Three years later, the Celts turned Jefferson, the 2005 pick and other stuff into Kevin Garnett and a 17th title. So that's right up there. I mean, have you SEEN Robert Swift? My buddy House called me last week just to ask me that question, and he asked it exactly like that: I answered, there was a pause, and he said, "I mean, have you SEEN Robert Swift?" Who knows -- maybe the Sox win with A-Roid, er, A-Rod. But there's no way the Celtics get Kevin Garnett for a package headlined by Robert Swift. None.
You may have heard of Kevin Garnett, one of the best 7' centers in the NBA. You may not have heard of Robert Swift, who was drafted out of high school, and has been a victim of the three "I's": Injury, Incompetence, and Ink. The photo shows is a before and after, of what an injured millionaire can do with his spare time. Makes you wonder what other millionaires have tattooed on their arms. What ever it is, probably not as Louvre-quality as Robert's body.
In the third year of a $5Million-plus contract, Robert has played 284 minutes of NBA basketball in the first half of the season, which works out to $882,240 for a half season, and $186,388 per hour of NBA playing time. I wouldn not be surprised if at the end of this season Robert gets laid off. Hopefully he'll have enough money in the bank to do his patriotic duty and stimulate the economy...at the tattoo parlor! What a great country!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Last month the maintenance people at work installed a square thing in the ceiling. It looked kind of like a square smoke detector, about 9" x 9". We weren't sure what it was, but it's probably a wireless internet router, but as of right now, we don't have a wireless internet network. It was the only one of it's kind on our side of the building. Probably installed for some future use.
With the economy tightening up, we've had two staff members laid off which sprinkled a little tension among some of the staff, and the CEO sent an email saying that he was bringing in a consulting firm to evaluate our efficiencies in our building. Most interpreted that to mean that they might be bringing the axe with them to lop off more staff. There has been a gallows humor approach by some, and we were joking that the square thing install was actually a microphone or even contained a small camera.
That thought was discussed yesterday, since the consultants were in our department talking to some of our managers the day before. When Ron Bloom and Brent Armstrong left for lunch (both a couple of guys who understand my sense of humor) I went to work and created a little black camera out of paper and taped it to the square thing in the ceiling. I labeled it the "Bloom Cam" and aimed it towards Ron's cubicle and others around it.
I was curious how long it would take anyone to notice. Well that was yesterday and today people were still talking about it. At first glance, a number of people actually thought it was a real camera actually monitoring people at work. There has been a little bit of edge with some people, knowing that the consultants were in the building. Others, after looking at it, immediately accused me of putting it on the ceiling. I just said, "What makes you think it was me? My name's not on the camera. Talk to Ron."
I was pleased that it got a lot of laughs, and amused at the reaction. I got the blame because, well, some days I feel like I am the ONLY source of humor on our floor. Well, whaddyagonna do? Now I have to think of my next trick.